Things we NEVER thought we'd say:

These statements took place in the course of the afternoon and dinner time at our house. These are the things the "Parents" said to their children:

"Jacob, stop hitting yourself in the face with the knife"


"Give me back my eardrum."


"Do not play baseball with the hairbrush and bun"


"My fingers are sparkly now"


"This is the life we chose"


"The children tell me I have two card tricks: fart and spray"

(I am thinking that needs a little unpacking....S, J and David were playing cards. Apparently, David's card tricks weren't amusing enough for them. They truly enjoyed the sound of the cards shuffling together when a using the bridge technique (farting) and when David fountained the cards in a 52 pick up (spray). These two activities produced gales of laughter from the two youngest in the group. David was laughing at the laughing. I stayed in the kitchen. It was safer there. Sorry Grandma for the gratuitous use of "fart")

Next edition: strange things my children stay. Until then!